How NOT to Write

Writing is an art-form, and as such, everyone writes differently. There is no “right” way of writing, but here are some of the writing styles I have come across that do not warrant its right to uniqueness, and are frankly moronic.

Mr. William J. Joyce Shakespeare Jr. 

Presently the wanton travail that confronts me, that which its voluminous task has burdened upon me, but disconcerts me in the purest sense. The expression of such deplorable sentiment does not derive its inexorable appearance from a vacant observation, but a reaction to what seemingly is self-evident.

Writing is, and has been, markedly the most primordial means of communication, which does not, however, give inclusion to the guttural act of speaking, though the seeming concession unfurls the historical fact that the inception of spoken language emerged long after its antediluvian form that formerly involved uniquely on the foundation of guttural, human, sound without an established language.

The Actual Moron

Sooo its tru that i Think people loose bi not like writing stuff like a smart person do. Because i think when we were monkeys like when jesus was born in that time i think it was True that people uh did not have language so nobody spoke english until america was made after the great floods. people who dig up stuff if you read their stuff like they say that human beings evolved from chimpanzees but i think thats bs cuz i don’t think that is like scientifically accurate but I am actually going off topic.

so my point is that i think that that when people write stuff they should like make it clear so that everybody understand what they are tryna say and like people nose stuff and as a result no stupid body believes in that science shit and think that jesus was not american.

The Mentally Ill, a.k.a., “I Don’t Live in Reality”

What, we, as human beings should realize is that the sky is blue and the window is translucent. We live in a world that is corrupt. Corruption makes us blind to the beautiful vistas of the world. It also makes us blind to the essential human faculties, such as the ability to communicate clearly, like writing.

Nature is so beautiful. We have lost the purity in the Mother Nature. The corruption, combined with the mismanagement of human resources, has led to injustice in the world. As a result of this, people cannot write anymore.

The Political Activist

I do believe that in this generation of people, the ability to write is a faculty, which has severely deteriorated. Writing is an important skill-set. There are many possible causes for the decline in the ability to write, but among many: capitalism, sexism and the increasing pervasiveness of rape, Monsanto, and animal abuse.

In addition, I do not think it is fair to focus on just education for the decline in the ability to write. Our society is much bigger than educational issues. Blacks are being abused by the American police, and the establishment derails the lives of ordinary people.

The Scholar

So (Chomsky, 1998), it has been proven (Obama, 2009) that the issues which were brought up in previous paragraphs (Yi, 2016) are a serious one, and they cannot be ignored. These are huge (Trump, 2015) problems that pervade over 99% of the people (Sanders, 2015) in the country.

The Debater, a.k.a., “I Shall Write As Though I Speak”

As I was saying, I think there are several reasons as to why writing has declined. People don’t read as much, which makes them sound stupid. Also people who actually read see this and they want to take advantage of it by sounding more arrogant, you know. So, they write like they have actually read stuff, and they use big words to make their point. So I think it is almost like a self-confidence issue because they feel like they need to show off, so some people write very unintelligibly so they sound smart.

The Texter, a.k.a., “An Actual Moron with Some Education and Some Money”

So who would like make grammar mistakes and stuff you know that’s like so dumb like people should get a job and some education so that as americans or like whatever they speak english so they can actually write you know but that is like not the case so idk idc honestly tbh. i think its so dumb that like i cant use emojis and shit in school essays but apart from that like as u can see i can write just fine but like most people are stupid so they cant

An Actual Moron with Some Education and Some Money: Liverpool Version

I dunno, like. You tell me, lad.

A Robot, a.k.a., “I Don’t Have a Voice” (applies to most people)

In conclusion, I feel that issues pertaining to writing in modern society comes down to two things. First, people are not getting the education they need from the government. Therefore, these people can’t write very well. Second, people who get the education they need from the government tend to be snobby. Snobby people write in a way that shows off their knowledge. In addition, people who do get the education they need from the government, it doesn’t mean that they can write well, because to a certain level, I sincerely believe, that people can write decently. But to be better than that, people need to read and write independently out of school. As a result, I don’t think that the education system in any modern civilized industrialized country encourages independent reading, so consequently we as members of society don’t see many good writers. We either have people who really can’t write or people who do a decent job writing.


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